first blush

okay, so this is my first entry. I've just moved to New York City, and I want to keep a record of my thoughts and impressions, and also to let everyone know how I am, because it's apparently really hard to call people when you're in New York. unless you want to stand around in front of your subway entrance, or talk in your room and feel awkward because your roommate, who is in the kitchen making sandwiches, can hear you. but I'll get to that.

I arrived in New York on November 9th, almost two weeks ago. I've been planning this move for years, really. it's just something I knew I had to do while I was young. after I do this, I can do anything. I can settle down, or not, but I'll know I don't have that regret. anyway.

in the weeks leading up to the move, everybody was like, what are you going to do once you get there? or, okay, so you wake up your first day in New York City.. what's the first thing you're going to do?? and I was like, um, get a job.

boring, I know. but I was so afraid of winding up without a place to stay or a job, trespassing on my friends' generosity and drying up my stash of money.

Phase One of my plan consisted of two things:

A) find job, probably at a Barnes & Noble (I've worked for them in some capacity for about five years)

B) find a room, probably in Queens, which is maybe not perfect but comfortable enough for a few months while I get my bearings.

I attacked Phase One so fiercely that I made myself sick. seriously. my second day in new york, I'd found a job. my fifth day, I'd found a room, and I moved in a few days later. but I'd caught some kind of bug which just got worse, and when I didn't slow down my voice started to go.

but one way or another, I'm at a stopping place. and I'm pretty proud of what I've been able to accomplish, even though neither my job nor my room is ideal. I work in the Cafe at the Barnes & Noble in Tribeca, which is way at the bottom of Manhattan, near the financial district. I work a literal two blocks from Ground Zero, which gives me a sort of vertigo. I can see it when I'm just getting to work, now just a construction site, and wonder about the stories the buildings around me would tell. or what the streets looked like coated in black grit and debris. my store wasn't built yet in 2001, so I can't ask anyone there what it was like, although every New Yorker has a story. I think I'm too polite to ask.

I'm rooming with a guy from Columbia named Fernando. the room sort of fell into my lap when my store manager, Sara, told me about a friend of hers who was moving out of her room in Queens, leaving the owner of the apartment with a vacant room. through her, I got his number, called, and set up a time to come view the place. my room is tiny, something like 7' by 10'. but it's cozy, furnished with a full-sized bed, a small metal desk, and an armoire. the apartment is in the basement, and it's carefully furnished and comfortable. Fernando is very particular about his place - you have to take your shoes off right inside the door, you have to clean your dishes right after you use them, and god help you if you use his white mug with the words "cafe latte" on it. I don't understand this fixation with the cup.

Fernando's a working electrician, and from what I can judge does nothing on his off-days except for hang out with his girlfriend, Lisa, who is very nice, her two elementary-aged daughters, who are very cute, or his neurotic chihuahua. and watch T.V. on his giant LCD screen. so very, very much T.V. you'd think he'd run out of interesting things sooner or later. he also plays some first person shooter game which I'm sure is cutting-edge or something, and watches anime.

Fernando is still an unknown quantity to me. he likes to joke around, and can be very warm and friendly. he calls me a weirdo at least twice a day. he'll be like.. you're going out? you should put a scarf on! and I'm like, thanks mom, and he's like, you're such a weirdo! or.. you're using my white cup? don't you see the one made for tea, without a handle? what a weirdo!

it's vaguely uncomfortable, living with somebody you don't really know. I think I might make it a rule in the future to not room with straight guys. it's not that there's any kind of problem, it's just a bit awkward. hopefully in this case that will dissipate with time.

but anyway. I'm now moving toward Phase Two of my plan, which is all about upgrading. it entails:

A) finding a new job that pays well, so that I can afford

B) my own place.

this is the shining goal for me. I want a studio, possibly, all to myself. and in a better place than this.. I don't want to knock the location too much (I'm in Rego Park), as a place this magically convenient could never exist in Texas. I'm within reasonable walking distance from:

- a subway stop

- a Target

- a grocery store / deli

- a DSW shoes (praise the gods of retail!)

- a Century 21 (not the real estate.. this is an overwhelmingly awesome discount clothing store a'la T.J. Maxx and Kohl's, so good it only exists in New York)

- superfluously, a Kohl's

- cheap sushi

- a laundromat

- a diner

- a drugstore

- a White Castle, if you're into that sort of thing

and more restaurants and such. I don't want to jinx a good thing by knocking it, but I am, in fact, living by a highway, and close to a mall. it doesn't so much feel like New York, certainly not the same way it feels when I'm in Manhattan. as dearest Paddle (one of the wonderful friends who let me stay over when I first got here) says - I didn't move to New York City to live by a mall. or, she says something like that. she won't live in any other borough than Manhattan because that's not why she came here. she earned the right to live the way she wants to.

as for me, I'm hoping to find a place in Brooklyn. I recently got lost there while looking for IKEA and fell in love. it feels almost more like New York to me than Manhattan does.

well anyway. I'm going to try to get plenty of sleep - I work tomorrow and don't want to be croaking people's orders at them. I'll maybe have some more tea, read before bed, and do something I've done for a while.. I always try to go to sleep thinking about good things I want to happen. it's definitely worked, to some degree, so far.