jon stewart

okay okay. so.. I completely did meet jon stewart today. if you can call openly gaping and blushing bright red while trying to write out a drink order on a cup and not pee your pants "meeting." not one of my prouder moments.

I've actually been mentally preparing for this for a while.. he's a regular at my b&n, so it was going to happen eventually. he comes in with his wife and two kids ( a boy and a girl), gets coffee, and hangs out. everybody that works there has a jon stewart story. he once impersonated a monkey to make his daughter laugh, full-on hooting and scratching his armpits. which when you think about it isn't that far off from what he does on the show. but brilliant. once he asked a kids' lead for help in finding.. "this is really embarrassing. superhero stories." he explained that his son is into superheroes.. when said employee asked which one he was like, "it kind of doesn't matter."

then there was the time he was followed into the store by paparazzi.. steve, the asm at the time kicked the guy out.. he threw a fit (the photographer, obviously, not jon stewart) and said he was going to have steve's job taken away and "enjoy the unemployment line" and blah blah. he left, and a few minutes later somebody told an employee that the guy was actually hanging around outside, waiting for jon stewart to leave. so steve arranged to take him through the back room and open the receiving door so he could get out the back. jon (oh yes, we're on a first name basis now.) was uncomfortable about that.. he said he just wants to be treated like a regular customer, that's why he comes in. and steve was like, if any regular customer had some asshole following him around with a camera, I'd do the exact same thing. so, they went through the back, and steve, who was accustomed to a nod from jon whenever he came in, graduated to getting a little wave. the day after that incident, the daily show had a big segment where he talked about paparazzi and being followed around (I saw that one when it aired, but I can't find the clip.. I'll post it if I do).

anyway. invariably all the stories I've been told involve jon being courteous to a degree that's really, really rare in retail. and also he's very clear about wanting to be left alone and treated as any other customer. once an employee asked to take a picture with him.. she almost got fired.

so, combine all this with the massive new york stigma associated with losing your shit around celebrities. it's the most tacky thing you can do. I've met a couple of celebrities before, authors mostly, and I have gotten a little starstruck but never done anything too stupid. but, I'm such a huge daily show fan. I've been watching it for years, y'know? it means so much more to me than anything else I've come into that close contact with.

so.

today was busy busy.. we had a huge line in the cafe, the kind that stays exactly as long as it is.. you get people through and more come in and you constantly have about five people waiting at any given time. I was working the register- meaning, taking drink orders, writing them out on cups with the names, and getting pastries and stuff. so I'm in my groove and everything is moving along and I look up.. and it's jon stewart. I think I went into a bit of shock. I could feel myself blushing, and I froze. he actually chortled a little bit. I can't say what I was thinking.. I actually don't think I had a coherent thought until about ten minutes later. he bent down to his daughter and asked her if she wanted a brownie. she did. so I went and got it, and he ordered a grande skim iced latte. so, I wrote that on the cup, with "Jon," and passed it to the barista. I think maybe I still looked like I'd been recently concussed, because he was looking down, like he was embarrassed. he paid with a $50, and somehow I made my hands work to get him change.

slick, mcclean. there's nothing like jon stewart popping up in the middle of your day to make you feel like a texas hillbilly. oh well. hopefully the initial shock is over and the next time he comes in I can work on NOT embarrassing the man in front of a line of people. I'm just proud that I managed not to say something stupid or screw up his order.

as he was leaving, steve heard his daughter ask "daddy, do you think I'm going to love this monkey game we got?" and he was like, "you know, I think you might." sigh. I think I have a chance.. ;)